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Success is something inherent in all of us (no one wants to fail). We strive to do as well as we can and want to succeed.

Many motivational coaches recommend emulating people who are successful and embracing them as role models but sometimes this advice leaves people more confused. They ask themselves what are they doing wrong or what aren’t they doing.  

A recent article in INC Magazine by psychotherapist Amy Morin has been very popular, “Mental Muscle: Successful People Don’t Do These Things.” She offered some different approaches that could be worth considering. She compared her approach to seeking help from a nutritionist to lose weight. The nutritionist may say, “Eat more vegetables” but never mentions that you should eat less junk food. Eating less junk food was key to success rather than eating more vegetables!

Her article offers observations about what mentally strong people don’t do. Here are a few:

  1. They don’t expect immediate results, expecting to reach your goals overnight will cause someone to give up too soon. Look at goals as a marathon. You certainly don’t run a marathon without building up to your goal over a length of time.
  2. They don’t feel the world owes them anything, if you are too busy keeping track of what you think you should get; you’ll never find out how much you have to give. An entitled attitude will cause you to become a passenger rather than a driver in your own life.
  3. They don’t resent other people’s success. Comparing yourself to others leads to resentment and over time, resentment can turn into bitterness. The only person you should compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday.
  4. They don’t worry about pleasing everyone, it’s not your job to try to make other people happy. Sometimes becoming a people pleaser will cause you to lose sight of your own values.   Your self-worth will become dependent on other people’s opinions of you.
  5. They don’t focus on things they can’t control, devote yourself to the things you can control. So while you can’t prevent the storm from happening; you can control how you will prepare for it. I always work on the assumption that something will go wrong; this helps me prepare in advance and have options.
  6. They don’t dwell on the past, dwelling on the past keeps you stuck. The only time you can change behavior is now; staying in the present can help you take action.

Mental muscle requires exercise to grow stronger. A mental fitness routine will be much more effective once you recognize your bad habits and give up the ones that are holding you back.

If you would like to read more of her tips, please go to

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